Seeing as the year is almost up and time is short during the silly season I thought Id address the year reflection now…When I think of the year just been, it is hard to separate it from the 3 years previous as a journey I have been on. Looking at the 3/4 years gone by I can see many changes that I have been through, some small, some so completely drastic that thinking of it now its quite scary.
Compared to 21yr old Me the 25 yr edition is physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually a very different person. (And in a brief flit to a 17yr version, I don’t think the 2 would recognise each other) Seriously I was thinking about it yesterday and it made me feel friggin old. We had a family Christmas do, my little cousin Jess was there and she is an almost exact replica of my 10yr old self, 2 more of my cousins are pregnant which prompted one of my uncles to rub my stomach and ask when mines coming... a good mate asked me the same question this week and the mans family are making not so subtle hints, even a work colleague mentioned that this time next year id be on maternity leave... all were met with the same response "let me get the friggin wedding out of the way first"
I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am not where I wanted to be at this age. Coinciding with that I think I may have finally found me, breakdowns are less frequent, and...
I’ve learnt that I cant make everyone happy, sometimes you do need to put yourself first, live a little, drugs aren’t the epitome of evil, be open and honest with all, even if that means letting your grandmother be friends with you on facebook, move on, grow up, its probably not your fault, some people will never forgive you, that’s their issue not yours, you can't spend your whole life feeling guilty, love is a very complicated and layered thing, some people just will never like you, smile and nod, make time for yourself, spend time with those you care about, don’t worry about telling someone you need some time alone, take joy in the little things, and always wear your seat belt.
The fact that it has taken me this long to learn all these things pisses me off, the fact that in my 25th year everything finally makes sense is a relief. The knowledge that when I’m 30 ill think differently again makes me smile rather than frown. I think I can finally call myself an adult.
Have an awesome Christmas, drink and be merry :)
